Fragmented

I'm feeling a bit on the 'stretched' side emotionally. My mind is filled with thoughts of car searching, finances, job issues, school worries, family status' and more. What do you do during these moments, days, weeks or seasons?

Of another note, I worked 20 of the last 48 hrs at DAB/St.John's home. On Saturday, I spent a significant amount of time processing with a 13 yr old boy. The night before he attempted to throw himself into traffic. These things make my soul ache....

Later in the day, a confused little boy continually referred to me as his  'mom'. He told me, "my mom is signing over her rights, so will you adopt me?" An eight year old shouldn't have to say this.

That evening I took 4 teenagers to a cultural training event at GVSU. On the way home we we discussed our city, god, and family. Such hurt in these young lives. My days are often a up-and-down mix of joy and grief.

Tonight, this melody is playing in my head:

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
red and yellow, black and white
they are precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

scarlet red lips

I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.

- Willet Gonin was among the first British soldiers to liberate Bergen-Belsen Concentration Camp in 1945
via "Sex God"

Oh Lord, use me and my voice in naming the humanity and the divine within those I interact with.

about my church

My story has been richly enhanced but that of the Mars Hill Bible Church Community
Our community is currently going through some changes, and I have been wrestling through the emotions that occur whenever things like this happen in important areas of our lives. Twice in the last few weeks I have come to tears while thinking about how my Church has impacted my life.
It is within this eccentric tribe, that I have seen love, experienced grace and been challenged beyond words:

This is where I learned what Discipleship looks like
Where I've seen BIG-time generosity
It is here that I have been taught to ask questions and be curious
This is where I fell in the love with the Biblical text and was given a yearning for learning more.
I went to Mars Hill Students the night I learned that my dad was leaving.
This is where I learned that suffering, pain and grief are just as valuable emotions as joy
These are the people that stand and sing next to me when I cannot find my voice
I was invited into Elohim-Echad and Chutzpah
This is where I have been able to serve in Preschool Pier for over 7 years
I have been encouraged to explore the important, sacred rhythms in life
I was baptized here in 2003
I was invited in to the lives of the Powell's and Berryhill's
This is where I went to Al-Anon
This is where redemption work and the Kingdom of God was taught
I was taught that Love (will always) Win.
Where I have been encouraged to think about technology and faith
These are the teachings I listened to while away at college
This is where my appreciation for art, writing, science and music exploded
This is the community that remained constant for me when my family life was drastically changing
I was shown how to love refugees and was stretched while sharing my room with an African peer
I learned that how we care for the earth and each-other is deeply reflective of our relationship with Christ
This is where I have been taught about forgiveness and have been invited to join in the process
Everything is spiritual.
This is where I have been encouraged to expect the divine.
This is the community that continues to teach me about grace, peace and what these look like in real, raw life

This is where I have been truly introduced to a Lord who is alive, active and present in my daily life and is constantly challenging me to become more fully the girl he created me to be.
Thank you Mars Hill for being my people and my place of worship.

I want to see this film...

 

"The Tree of Life" Written and directed by Terrence Malick. 

Rob Bell referenced this film in church today (along with D.Willard and Eminem :) I did some quick wikipedia research on Malick. He studied philosophy at Harvard, has directed five films and appears to be a pretty mysterious artist. There is very little information on him, and he never participates in interviews or publicity.