a mess. but change is a comin'!

I picked up Karissa last night and recruited her in helping me make some monster-cookie-mix gift jars.

My kitchen floor still displays all the evidence. Neither of my vacuums are cooperating. Everything just needs a good scrub.

In Regards to an update,
This fall has been difficult. Not sure why necessarily.
I think I've tried, but really, I haven't felt like myself.

I've been stretched pretty thin at work and my motivation for school is running on empty.

I haven't exactly been my best self lately, and it shows.

Most nights I call my mom (or my grandma) and complain.

Most mornings I barely put myself together before entering the office.

(I'm not kidding, I've skipped-out on makeup and mascara more this Fall than ever before. a mess.)

I can't remember the last time I blow-dried my hair.

I don't have anything specific to complain about which maybe makes my situation more frustrating.


But, I think I'm getting over it.

Studying "Thanks" with Mars this month has been helpful. Kent encouraged us to continually recite the Lord's prayer and give special awareness to the line: "Give us Today our daily Bread".

I've also been encouraged to write a gratitude journal.

It's helping.

 I am very relieved that it is Thanksgiving week. It couldn't come at a better time. I am so ready for time with family, rest, and communal practice of thanks.

A countdown is also a source of motivation:

I only have 1 (ONE!) more night of class,
1 (ONE!) more paper,
2 (TWO!) more nights of Practicum,
and (THIS IS SIGNIFICANT) 12 more days of Full-time MDOC work.

Thank goodness!


But, probably the biggest countdown is: 3 (THREE!!) more weeks until I am on my way to New Zealand!!
(My mom brought over a suitcase for me to borrow It's getting real!)


This week I am turning in my "Application for Graduation" and my Application for the NCE (aka the biggest exam of my life).


Change is right around the corner and I am eager for it to get on over here.

When I return home in January:
I will be doing MDOC two days a week and Mental Health Counseling/Internship the rest of the week.
I will also be just days a way from turning a quarter-of-a-century old. (not sure what to think about that yet)


But, yes, back to the Lord's prayer...I just need to ask for this day.

look to nature

Yesterday the guys and I were discussing how to prevent relapses.

This included talk about coping skills, self-care and nourishment.

Most agreed that you can't really face life's big challenges well (e.g. recovery), when you have not taken very good care of yourself.

Self-care practices are often the best forms of preventative medicine.

I led the guys through an activity to identify what little, practical  things help them feel most nourished and alive.

I noticed that so many identified self-care items that were relational and also nature-connected. Not such a big surprise, right?



It reminded me of what we learned about on Sunday....

What is Jesus' advice when we are faced with worry?
Jesus tells us to look to nature.

 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[? (Matt 6:26-27)

The vast natural world reminds us that we are not in control, and that is a beautiful thing!
Nature has a way of grounding us and filling us up.


I know that everything is spiritual, but it is such a gift when I am CLEARLY aware of the overlap of my work, school, church, and personal 'lives'!

If I knew..

If you would have told me several years ago that my professional life would look like it does today, I would have likely: a) changed my major and b) freaked out

life is funny. ironic. time changes things.

For example, last-week, I found myself leading a discussion on healthy romantic relationships.
Can you imagine?
Oh my heart. I truly believe that God has a great sense of humor.

The latest news is:

I've been somewhat coerced into leading another group.
That makes THREE groups. I only "agreed" to do one evening (I need to have one weeknight "free" to preserve some sanity and Tues/Thurs are booked for school).

So, beginning tomorrow, I'll be facilitating 10 hours of Group therapy per week.
With ALL MEN.
Did I mention that part?!
Plus fabulous hours of paperwork, of course.

Oh, and my new group? Its already booked with 12 guys.
12!
That's not a "small" group...it's more like a CLASS (of ALL MEN, did I mention that? lol)

I'm a bit nervous to say the least.

But, seriously, I am so blessed to be able to do something that I am passionate about.
Even though most days are filled to the brim with challenges.
Another positive- groups make the day feel like it is going by so much faster than individual appointments.

Last week Wednesday I had one of the best group facilitating experiences ever. I showed up, presented the discussion topic, and they guys took it away.

They stayed on topic. were appropriate. and opened up more than ever before.

It was phenomenal. The power of group-work- it's real folks!
P.S. for counseling friends--- I felt like I was in a Corey-Corey film (without as much of the awkwardness).

Anyway, lift a prayer for me and my nerves around dinnertime tomorrow? Much appreciated!

Grace and Peace.

a posture of awe & wonder

Plato:

“Philosophy begins in wonder”


Abraham Joshua Heschel:

“The beginning of our happiness lies in the understanding that life without wonder is not worth living.”  

“Wonder rather than doubt is the root of all knowledge.”  

“Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ....get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”

“Wonder or radical amazement is the chief characteristic of the religious man's attitude toward history and nature.”  

Toronto Immersion

The past weekend was FANTASTIC.
I smiled and laughed so much more than I have in quite a while.
The four days we spent in Toronto for the TIFF felt so good.

I met many new people and learned more about those previously known as acquaintances.
A very passionate, smart, witty, creative group of young adults.

Highlights:

THE FOOD. (Basically, I spent more than I ever do on a month of groceries)
-  Auth. Indian dishes
- Spanish Tapas
- falafel
- french almond croissant and teas
- holy basil chicken w/ crispy mee krob lettuce wraps
- coconut curry squash soup

THE FILMS. (these are just the six that I experienced)
- How Strange to Be Named Federico: Scolo Narrates Fellini
- Burts Buzz
- The Square
- The Promise
- Oktober November
- Bad Words

THE PLACES.
We walked from morning 'till night. Thursday evening, we happened to come across a fantastic jazz orchestra in a little pub. Friday night we attempted to go up in the tower (failed).
We wandered, and wandered some more.
We watched the sky and the sights on top of our hostel at night and chatted about the films and themes floating through our minds.
A cute french man made my day with his compliments as I nibbled my delish croissant in the sun.
I felt fashionably inferior in the massive Eaton Center (and then purchased a grey H&M scarf to make myself feel more legit).
Saturday night we found ourselves watching killer improv at Second City. Loved it!

In connection with the series at Mars, we were prompted to keep this prayer fresh on our minds as we explored the city and engaged with the films:

Here I am.
Here you are.
Here we are together.

equals

 

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity."

 

-- Pema Chodron

 

 

 

Just something that I'm thinking about as I begin Counseling Practicum!

Disclosure

Brene Brown's Checklist for deciding whether or not something is appropriate to disclose through books, blogs, fb, ect:

 

 

Why am I sharing this?

What outcome am I hoping for?

What emotions am I experiencing?

Do my intentions align with my values?

Is there an outcome, response, or lack of response that will hurt my feelings?

Is this sharing in the service of connection?

Am I genuinely asking the people in my life for what I need?

 

 

 



Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly (pp. 162-163). New York, NY: Gotham Books.